You’ve heard of humility patches, the idea being an obvious mistake is put into a quilt so as not to cause affront to God because only He can create a perfect thing. Actually this practice seems to me to be the height of pridefulness! As if I could ever create something so perfect that I would need to intentionally include a mistake! Not going to happen. However, I have turned a patch this way or that, not for the sake of humility so much as to make people pause a little longer, make them wonder why. I think it adds interest. If that is the case, God must find me interesting indeed! And the beautiful thing is, He does! In spite of all my flaws and weaknesses, He really likes me!
Anyway, as proof that I do not need a humility patch, I present to you, The Humility Quilt. Yes, a whole quilt so full off mistakes and blunders that with it, I have secured my place in history as perfectly imperfect. And no, none of this was intentional.
Okay, bad pic. Be grateful. How imperfect are you, quilt? Let me count the ways…
First off, I wanted a feather in the border. Decided to use my spray chalk but it didn’t appear to be working. Decided to shake the can a bit more. No go. After a healthy dose, I realized I had grabbed basting spray! Duh! Now I have a sticky mess!
Okay, quilted one border, looked awful but soldiered on. Started blocks, realized I should have mounted the quilt the other way. Too late. Soldiered on. Crap, tension messed up ….a while back. Apparently I have fullness in aide borders. Craptastic. I was sure I measured these before I put them away three months ago. Some of the quilting looks okay on top. At one point after advancing the quilt, I didn’t lock the gear on the backing roller. Totally focused on using templates, I don’t realize that the backing was looser than the top and I now have major pleats. Rip, rip, grumble, grumble.
Finally take it off the frame and start binding. The border looks so bad, I am considering whacking them off and turning it into a crib quilt. I keep going. Find another area of really bad tension, I think this is when I retreaded and missed a guide. Every stinking one of them is apparently very important.
I finally finish this miserable thing and throw it in the wash. Watch a cheesy movie with DH and stew a while. Pull it out if the dryer…..too embarrassed to show you the back. Realized I missed quilting two arcs in the green triangles. Nuts.
It is what it is.
I learned a lot. I wrapped myself up in it and finished the movie. It is warm. From a distance, it doesn’t look too bad. Just. Don’t. Turn. It. Over.
Who needs a humility patch? I’ve got a whole quilt!
